SIX PEOPLE SO FAR THINK SAM AND MELANIE LOOK GOOD TOGETHER!!!!!
How bouts a lil story for yah?
The cellar lights flickered. Lucy tried to scratch her hands but she couldn't. The rope that was tying her hands together was too tight. Janet came towards Lucy with a devilish grin on her face. Lucy looked at the corpse of her twin sister. She tried to save Lucy but her insides got pulled out of her mouth. Lucy shivered at the memory. Janet got a whip with hooks all over it. Lucy shivered in the cold cellar with nothing to cover her body. She was still naked after being raped by Janet. Janet smiled and slowly walked towards Lucy. She whipped Lucy's face and half of the skin from her face came off. Lucy screeched in pain. Janet picked off the bits of flesh from her whip. Janet took barber scissors out of her pocket. She walked towards Lucy and cut off her ear. Lucy whimpered in pain. Janet grabbed Lucy's arm and cut off the rope. Janet held Lucy's hand in hers and plucked off her fingernails one at a time. She pulled Lucy towards her and kissed her. Lucy melted in Janet's kiss. Janet broke off from the kiss and thrut Lucy's fingernails into her left eye. Lucy yelped in pain. Janet smiled and picked up the scissors. She cut off Lucy's nipples and ate them raw. Lucy cried but the tears stund her open flesh on her face. Janet laughed and took a chainsaw out. She turned it on and cut off Lucy's right arm. She pushed Lucy onto a table covered in blood. She kneeled on top of Lucy and got a carving knife out. She cut Lucy's stomach open and laughed. She cut Lyc's ribs ignoring Lucy's screeching. Janet sliced out Lucy's heart and held it in her hands. She opened her mouth so the spraying blood could land in there. Janet talk a little girl tocome to the table. The hungry little girl stared at Lucy and looked up at Janet. Janet nodded and they both began to feed on Lucy's warm, dead body. When the finished eating, they turned towards me.
I hope you liked that story.
It's just like that song by nelly furtado. All good things come to an end. Well at i think i spelt her name right. :S It has been sooo long since i updated. Well the truth is everything is better now. I just want to say that it's scary how close i was to being a emo. Wait, I WAS emo. Completely. EMO. I couldn't be happy anymore, thanks melanie for being there for me. Although i doubt people read this blog. *sighs*
I was so close to cutting myself when i was emo. And to think it was only a few weeks ago. I was so close to death. I was going to commit suicide. I almost cut myself. I actually had a knife and scissors in my hands once. I was THAT upset about what was happening. Maybe i was over reacting. Just maybe. But it hurt. It really really hurt. And it was a different kind of hurt than when your heart breaks. It was as if my whole life has been a lie. There were so little things that made me happy. That made me smile and laugh. It had been soo long since i had last laughed hard. It was only last week when i did eventually laugh hard again. Sure, i feel so depressed sometimes, even now. Sometimes, when i'm at home. All alone i feel depressed. Someone might say something or i might read something and it touches my heart, my soul. It makes me all sad, shitty, emo. It sucks. Sometimes i just don't know how to deal with things. They say when you think it's the end, it's actually the start of something. Or something like that. It's utter bullcrap! I just don't know. I really want to talk to someone. To let them know how i feel. To let them know how confused i feel. That someone isn't Azlin, Melanie, Katie, Lucinda or Stevie. It might not even be Miranda. That somebody might be Brodie. Although i doubt it. Eric might be that somebody. Fuck life. Suicide really is the better option sometimes.
I fucking hate my love life. It's so fucking gay. First it's that whole fucked up thing with Sharavana. How come when we're at school we always glance at each other. I'm seeing him more and more, or am i just conciously seeing him? I don't know if whatever KJ (Kai Jun) said was real, but i really don't like it. Honestly, no matter how flaterred I am that people like me. It's just so disturbing sometimes. I think this guy, Carlson Yap or sumtin like tat likes me. Shit i bet i sound so freakin vain or some shit like that. Urgh. Well i know that he thinks i'm hot. I know that a lot of people think i'm hot. I know that i shouldn't really be writing about personal stuff up here. But i just want to. So here it starts. A diary into my soul. Hasina. I'm just so confused. I don't know if i like him or not. It feels so weird. I don't know if I blush everytime someone mentions that me n him are going to the prom together. I know that I bite my lip, and i think some people watch to see my reaction. Urgh. I wish i knew what to do.
I don't know what has gotten into me. I suddenly feel so freaking depressed after laughing my ass off all day. So damn fucking depressed. I feel like going on a fuck streak. You know how you say a string of curses? Yeah, that. So freaking close. I don't feel like putting up with this shit anymore. This bitch we call life is gonna meet her match soon. (hopefully?) All i know is death is a good idea. And will always be a good idea for years to come. Maybe, just maybe i will actually try to commit suicide. Unless someone stops me. Where are my best friends when i need them?
I want to die. Sooo freaking badly right now. Everyday i think about suicide. It's horrible! I'm not eating a lot, i think i'm gonna have an eating disorder!! And if i don't do something soon, i think i'll be diagnosed with depression!!! I hope whoever is making me feel so freaking depressed is reading this, and i hope they feel really fucking guilty for whatever shit they done!!! I need to get new friends! I need some person that will listen to me and someone that i could tell everything to, but unfortunately i don't think that there is a person like that in this world.
What is wrong with me? I feel so bad even though - for some things - i didn't do anything. Is it true that i am becoming a bitch? Is it that i'm taking everything into the wrong perspective?
I bet i have hurt a lot of people in my life time, and each day it increases. I have just found out something very personal about someone, and it made me almost cry. And i did a little bit, but not as much as i needed to. I need some emo songs, some very emo songs.
If anyone thinks that i have been a bitch, tell me, i need to know. I don't want to be the person that everybody hates.
I'm waiting for the day i will finally blow! When i will have the long awaited emotional breakdown. Why can't my time come soon? If people want me to be happy then why do they forget my very existence? Let me die. I want to see who actually comes to my freaking funeral. I hope that no one comes. It'll be proof that no one really cares about me.
There's nothing more to say. I hate my life. So what? Big deal. I hate the people that act as i they are my friends but in the end they only use me. They don't really like me for who i am. I hate the fact that someone can talk to me then completely ignore me the next moment. I hate the fact that no matter how much i wish and pray no one will do anything. What i really want in life won't ever happen. Allah is supposed to LISTEN to our fucking prayers but he doesn't do anything about them. He doesn't give a shit if we die. Apparently we're all fuckin sinners! Why? Because there are soo many fucking sins to make in this fucked up world!! So NO ONE can EVER do anything right!
I'm leaving. And i guess i'm sad? Not really. Even though i have met some wonderful people here in malaysia i'm not the least bit sad or happy for that matter that i'm leaving. It's just another thing that's happening in my life.
I might be going crazy, but everything, life as i knew it has changed. Fine then. IGNORE ME!! Then talk to me, sit with me when you don't have anyone else. CUT THE FUCKING CRAP!! I can't handle life anymore. I would commit suicide but i just can't. It's not my friends, family, me that is stopping me from commiting suicide. Ok, maybe it is. I just can't bear the thought of it. Well, i think about it nearly EVERY FUCKING DAY IN MY FUCKING LIFE!!!! But why? Why do i have to believe in ghosts? Why do i exist? Allah created me for some good reason right? If he did then why am i so sad most of the time?
Why am i scared to grow up? Why am i so scared of things? Why is everything happening. In another 5 years i'm going to be in University. Studying who knows what. Soon everything will fall apart in my life. I might not ever find the person that i truely love. I think that when i'm roughly 30 yrs old my dad will die. DIE. I won't be able to handle it. Then after a while my mum will die. Then everybody that i know and love will die.
I don't know what to do.
# Crazy
# Love-struck
# Depressed
she loves
# Chocolate
# Friends
# You-know-who
# Sleeping
# Relaxing
her wishlist
# Ipod Touch
# New Phone
# Camera