There's nothing more to say. I hate my life. So what? Big deal. I hate the people that act as i they are my friends but in the end they only use me. They don't really like me for who i am. I hate the fact that someone can talk to me then completely ignore me the next moment. I hate the fact that no matter how much i wish and pray no one will do anything. What i really want in life won't ever happen. Allah is supposed to LISTEN to our fucking prayers but he doesn't do anything about them. He doesn't give a shit if we die. Apparently we're all fuckin sinners! Why? Because there are soo many fucking sins to make in this fucked up world!! So NO ONE can EVER do anything right!
I'm leaving. And i guess i'm sad? Not really. Even though i have met some wonderful people here in malaysia i'm not the least bit sad or happy for that matter that i'm leaving. It's just another thing that's happening in my life.
I might be going crazy, but everything, life as i knew it has changed. Fine then. IGNORE ME!! Then talk to me, sit with me when you don't have anyone else. CUT THE FUCKING CRAP!! I can't handle life anymore. I would commit suicide but i just can't. It's not my friends, family, me that is stopping me from commiting suicide. Ok, maybe it is. I just can't bear the thought of it. Well, i think about it nearly EVERY FUCKING DAY IN MY FUCKING LIFE!!!! But why? Why do i have to believe in ghosts? Why do i exist? Allah created me for some good reason right? If he did then why am i so sad most of the time?
Why am i scared to grow up? Why am i so scared of things? Why is everything happening. In another 5 years i'm going to be in University. Studying who knows what. Soon everything will fall apart in my life. I might not ever find the person that i truely love. I think that when i'm roughly 30 yrs old my dad will die. DIE. I won't be able to handle it. Then after a while my mum will die. Then everybody that i know and love will die.
I don't know what to do.
# Crazy
# Love-struck
# Depressed
she loves
# Chocolate
# Friends
# You-know-who
# Sleeping
# Relaxing
her wishlist
# Ipod Touch
# New Phone
# Camera