It's just like that song by nelly furtado. All good things come to an end. Well at i think i spelt her name right. :S It has been sooo long since i updated. Well the truth is everything is better now. I just want to say that it's scary how close i was to being a emo. Wait, I WAS emo. Completely. EMO. I couldn't be happy anymore, thanks melanie for being there for me. Although i doubt people read this blog. *sighs*
I was so close to cutting myself when i was emo. And to think it was only a few weeks ago. I was so close to death. I was going to commit suicide. I almost cut myself. I actually had a knife and scissors in my hands once. I was THAT upset about what was happening. Maybe i was over reacting. Just maybe. But it hurt. It really really hurt. And it was a different kind of hurt than when your heart breaks. It was as if my whole life has been a lie. There were so little things that made me happy. That made me smile and laugh. It had been soo long since i had last laughed hard. It was only last week when i did eventually laugh hard again. Sure, i feel so depressed sometimes, even now. Sometimes, when i'm at home. All alone i feel depressed. Someone might say something or i might read something and it touches my heart, my soul. It makes me all sad, shitty, emo. It sucks. Sometimes i just don't know how to deal with things. They say when you think it's the end, it's actually the start of something. Or something like that. It's utter bullcrap! I just don't know. I really want to talk to someone. To let them know how i feel. To let them know how confused i feel. That someone isn't Azlin, Melanie, Katie, Lucinda or Stevie. It might not even be Miranda. That somebody might be Brodie. Although i doubt it. Eric might be that somebody. Fuck life. Suicide really is the better option sometimes.
I fucking hate my love life. It's so fucking gay. First it's that whole fucked up thing with Sharavana. How come when we're at school we always glance at each other. I'm seeing him more and more, or am i just conciously seeing him? I don't know if whatever KJ (Kai Jun) said was real, but i really don't like it. Honestly, no matter how flaterred I am that people like me. It's just so disturbing sometimes. I think this guy, Carlson Yap or sumtin like tat likes me. Shit i bet i sound so freakin vain or some shit like that. Urgh. Well i know that he thinks i'm hot. I know that a lot of people think i'm hot. I know that i shouldn't really be writing about personal stuff up here. But i just want to. So here it starts. A diary into my soul. Hasina. I'm just so confused. I don't know if i like him or not. It feels so weird. I don't know if I blush everytime someone mentions that me n him are going to the prom together. I know that I bite my lip, and i think some people watch to see my reaction. Urgh. I wish i knew what to do.
# Crazy
# Love-struck
# Depressed
she loves
# Chocolate
# Friends
# You-know-who
# Sleeping
# Relaxing
her wishlist
# Ipod Touch
# New Phone
# Camera